It’s Tuesday even though it feels like Monday. It’s a good thing we have another Tinder Tuesday! This week’s guy is a fan of my hometown, STL and is representing it via hat…even if the rest of the photo is less than stellar.
This guy looks like a serious toolbox. As if that needed to be said, but I felt compelled anyway.
Let’s start with the weights to the left. I see there is one dumbbell in the background. Theoretically the other weight is behind his shoulder, but theoretically this isn’t a one-room apartment over his grandma’s garage.
I love the kettle ball sitting in the middle of the room. I suspect it’s there to impress us, but I really think it’s there because he tried to bring it in when he moved into his crib and that’s as far as he could carry it before he gave himself a hernia.
And there it remains until his brother moves in.
I see there is one lone tennis shoes, interestingly walking away from the weights and kettle ball. I doubt that’s a coincidence. However, seeing this one shoe solves a long-time mystery. Whenever I see a single shoe randomly strewn on the side of the road, I always wonder where the other shoe is. THAT’S WHERE THE OTHER SHOE IS!
Homeboy also looks like he likes to vacuum, or at least he wants to give that impression with that neon vacuum in the background. Jeez, guy. We get it. You own a vacuum. We’re super pumped about it. Now fire that b*tch up and sweep up that mauve carpet. Grandma likes a tidy apartment.
There’s a laundry basket in the background that suggests he’s fresh and clean, but he forgot to pick up the rest of his dirty clothes off of the floor. He’s probably only worn those 3 times so he doesn’t think they’re dirty yet and he certainly doesn’t care that they’re on the floor.
We definitely know he didn’t wear them at the gym…or moving that kettle ball.
I’m telling myself it’s dirty clothes and it’s not a dirty towel. I’m telling myself it’s not a dirty towel. It’s not…
I can’t tell for sure but it looks like on one of those Russian nesting doll tables is a picture frame. It looks like there’s a photo of a baby but it could just be what came with the frame. I bet he thinks it makes him look cuddly. It really just makes him look like a pedo.
And is that a rat trap back there by the trash can? I’m not sure, but Matt swears it is. I’m not sure if rats would make it up the stairs at g’ma’s house house though. If they do, maybe those rats are the ones using those weights.
One thing is for sure, he’s looking for someone to snuggle with in that sweet beige recliner he found at Goodwill.
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